Measuring Our Learners’ Growth: Positive Psychology and the Power of “Yet”

I was met with silence when I posed our morning question to my lower-elementary learners. Granted, it was 8:30 in the morning on a Tuesday, but I didn’t expect to receive crickets. As I waited for the question to sink in, I wondered whether or not I had posed something of value in the first place.

“Is it better to always lose or never play the game?”

I shifted on the carpet, hoping someone would grab the baton and run with it. Just when I was about to open my mouth and rephrase the question, a learner, in true Hermione Granger fashion, threw her hand up in the air.

Whew.

“I would much rather lose and lose again and again. Each time I lose, I just learn how to do it better the next time. Besides, it’s not even about winning.”

How had a six year-old gathered more wisdom in her short years than most adults do in a lifetime? The answer was simple: growth mindset.

A few weeks back, our learners took a week to focus on growth mindset and the power of positive thinking. They learned tools to help them change their thinking and focus on the importance of the word “yet” when struggling with new and challenging things. Instead of saying “I can’t ride my bike,” the learners are challenged to say “I can’t ride my bike yet.” This changes the narrative they create about themselves from an impossibility to a certainty. It’s powerful, and it emphasizes their potential rather than their struggles.

When at home, we encourage our learners and our families to focus on their own version of “yet,” whatever that may be. Whether this is literacy related ( “I can’t read yet“) or math related ( “I can’t solve that type of problem yet,“) we want the journey and the hard work to be just as important as the end result. All of our “yets” will become realities when we shift the lens from our self-determined inadequacies to our natural strengths. 

That being said, oftentimes our learners replace “challenging” with “boring.”

I’ve done it myself, and it’s something we’re all a little guilty of doing. I used to tell myself that running was boring when, in truth, it was a challenge to push myself at something that didn’t come easily. That small but crucial change in vocabulary undermines our “yets.” It changes the mindset from negative to just plain dismissive. As soon as we own our challenges, we’re halfway to conquering them. Is there something you’ve said was boring recently? How do your emotions shift if you replace boring with challenging?

In order to reach our “yets,” we have to celebrate the little wins along the way. If your learner is saying, “I can’t read yet,” we’re called to remind them of their strengths and say, “No, but you’ve learned all of your letter sounds. That’s a huge win.”

This is where warm fuzzy jars become your best resource.

Yep, you heard me. Warm fuzzy jars.

They may sound ridiculous, but they’ll become your lifeline. They’re easy to make, and it adds a sense of partnership between parents and learners when they make them together. They’re usually glass or plastic jars with measurement lines on the sides. These lines indicate goals and incentives for the learners to reach. The actual warm fuzzies are just pom-pom balls.

Let me give you some examples for how they work.

Did your learner put away his or her lovies? They put a warm fuzzy in the jar.

Did your learner take his or her dish to the sink? They put a warm fuzzy in the jar. 

Did your learner complete his or her core skills today? They put a warm fuzzy in the jar. 

Do you see the pattern? It’s all about emphasizing the positive choices your learners make and allowing them to feel and hold that win as they put it in the jar. Once they receive a certain number of warm fuzzies, maybe they can pick what you will have for dinner. Maybe you will schedule a family movie night and they get to pick the movie. Maybe you will go camping in your backyard.

Whatever your incentive is, make it work for you and your learner.

By reinforcing positive behavior and growth mindset, you’re instilling in them the idea that they are unlimited. That’s a great feeling, right? Even with all of the chaos in the world around us and the upsets in our daily routines, we can find those little warm fuzzy moments and cling to them. They’re our hope. They’re our journey.

They’re the foundation of our “yets.”

-Megan Doherty